I am sitting in my class for Ethical and Legal Issues in Counseling and thought of no better place to write a new post. In the past month or so, I haven't really written anything on here worth a squat and I do apologize. I just haven't had anything worth saying. I'm not sure I do now.
I feel like I am having to relearn everything it means to follow Christ. I am ok with that. This past year I have been exposed to many things that have challenged my views of what it means to be a Christian. It's not so much that my faith has been challenged, but my way of pursuing my faith. Let me explain.
When I went to Guatemala, I saw poverty in a way I hadn't seen before and I saw a pastor who was willing to give up his high-paying, engineering job in the city and move into the moutains to live in a shack, for the simple person of helping the people of the mountains know the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am was faced straight up with the question in my heart- Would I be willing to give up the same for the Gospel?
Coming to seminary has shaken my foundations in my beliefs, namely, it has shown me that I don't know the Bible like I would like too, or should. God's Word is so deep and goes beyond what even we can read into it. How many things do we say are biblical but really aren't? How biblically true is my own life? What preconceptions do I read into the text in order to get out of it what I want, and not what it says. Ouch.
I am having alot of issues with our current way of doing church and worship in our culture. Why do we have such a had time living out Acts 2? Why is it so hard to want to take care of each other and the world as the Body of Christ? Why are we the first ones to jump in and shoot our own. Why am I so bitter towards the american church?
When I see things around the world like AIDS in Africa, or the poverty on the streets of Memphis, or other tragedies, I can't sing "Light the Fire" or "Indescribable," or any other praise and worship song. They aren't honest for me. I feel fake singing them. And its not that I find the words untrue, but they don't express to God what I am feeling. Now there are times when I do get into these settings and the Holy Spirit takes over. Praise God for that. I guess what makes this so hard is the fact that I don't know how to express what I am feeling to God, or how to worship per se'. I want to worship in Spirit and truth. Not knowing how to do that consistently is making me reexamine how I build my relationship with God.
And lastly, am I in a belief system that embraces the freedom of Christ or the condemnation of hell. Do I rely on do's and don'ts to justify my religous experience or am I embracing freedom in my forgiveness and allowing that freedom to transform me into a free, joyful person whom others would see and want that same freedom and joy?
This is a new year. I feel the best way to continue along this path of relearning what it means to follow Jesus is to actually study the life of Jesus. So that's my goal for this year--to delve deep into the scriptures concerning Jesus, the prophecies, the life, the words, the aftermath--in the world, and in my life.
peace out,
hersch
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10 comments:
I appreciate this post, Herschel, as these are some of the same issues I have been working through for the last year or so.
I would go into that more, but this is your blog and I have stopped using mine. :) Peace.
go into it more if you want...
The theme this week at Urbana was Ephesians and living as one body. It was amazing. To be in a place where everyone around you is worshiping freely as they please is so inspiring to people like me and you who are saddened by the way we worship in our respective churches today.
I don't think the church gets the idea of "one body." As you stated, we are usually the first ones to jump on each other when someone falters. The church body is useless when the arms and legs don't get along..and thats what we've become in many ways. A bunch of ligaments flying around hitting each other.
To come together and worship, truly worship, is something so rare yet so beautiful. It is sad that many lifelong Christians have never experienced it because they believe that "worship" is making sure the bulletins get passed out or that the children's sermon is before the offering or that the candles are lit at the right time.
I seldom experience true worship (especially in my home church) but when I do I am completely taken away from the situation I am in and receive a peace like no other. How do we show the church today what this is like?
it makes me think of camp, and the amazing times of worship and prayer we had there, and why don't we experience that on a consistent basis---
I come up with these differences:
1. We are together. We forsake our personal space for 6 days to live together with the forsight that we are going to be praying together, reading the bible together, etc (Acts 2)
2. We do these things everyday.(Acts 2)
3. for 6 days, i would say the overall majority of people take off their masks and are who they really are without fear of being made fun of or shunned
4. We fly loose and let God move where he wants to move. We know that it is God who does the work in people--all we can do is be available(Acts 2)
Those are just a few things i see. more thoughts?
I'm with you on all of these issues. I like what you said about praise songs not conveying what you want to express to God. I feel the same way, although I hadn't been able to form it into a complete thought like that. Thanks for helping me out. Now I know what my problem is with worship. =)
I also long to be a part of that "One-Body Church". Church camp was awesome, and I think Hersch hit some good points about everyone being together all of the time and worshipping through prayer and reading the Bible - DAILY. But, how do we do that in the real world? Our lives are so full of things we have to do to survive. Or do we? Maybe we need to cut out some of the THINGS we have that we really don't need to survive, so that we don't have to WORK so hard...and then we might have more time to spend being The Church.
This discussion makes me realize how much I can't wait to go to Heaven, where we can live in that peace that I've felt only minute portions of here on earth. I hold onto those thoughts of heaven and peace, and they give me hope.
no way, your back in town. we really need to get together. glad to see that you are still truckin. first class me and we can hang.
who's Bill Haverchuck?
google my good friend...google
Who needs Bill Haverchuck? Herschel is MY hero.
I'd say you had something to say. keep it up.
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