IT's MOVING DAY!!!
So I had briefly thought about leaving the blog world altogether, but decided I just needed a change. I have moved over to here or here. Be sure to update your links accordingly as I will mine. See ya there!
peace out,
hersch
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Friday, February 16, 2007
compartmentalization...
It's funny how we live our lives amongst each other.
I was going about my janitorial duties the other day and a guy who I had been in a small group with last semester walked through the lobby I was cleaning. I looked up and said hello. He simply nodded almost as if I wasn't there and continued walking. Later that evening, in the cafeteria I saw him again. We were standing in line together. We briefly conversed and discussed the poor dining options on campus and then went to our seperate tables. Normally, I would have chalked this up to him being preoccupied that morning and not thought alot about it. But this isn't the first time it's happened with this certain individual. One time he even addressed me as I was cleaning as a new student who he hadn't met yet. You may be thinking that this guy is a douche, and believe me I have had those thoughts as well, if only it weren't that he isn't the only person this has happened with.
There are several guys in the dorm where I clean that do this. They see me in class or lunch or wherever and we will have a friendship, but if they see me with a mop, they barely speak to me. It happens the opposite way also. There are several guys who will see me cleaning and stop and chat for a bit, but if I see them in the cafeteria, we have nothing to say to each other.
What's even more alarming is that since noticing this phenomenon, I have begun to catch myself doing this as well. I have a group of people who I may talk with everyday at lunch but never at supper. I will talk to certain people in class but if I see them in the library, I don't know how to initiate conversation with them, as if my tongue turns to stone.
Compartmentalization means to divide something into categories. I see myself as well as everyone doing this with people. It is very strange to me that I have different categories of people in my life. There are two or three people with whom I trust everything I am to, and then there are those whom I will only eat lunch and make small talk with.
It is weird to know that I put people in categories. It is even more weird to know that I am categorized in other people's minds.
What does this mean in terms of of the Kingdog of God? Do I believe God puts people in categories? Do I gear ministry oppurtunities only to certain groups of people? Is part of the reason I haven't plugged into a church because I haven't found a church that fit into my preconcieved categories? Do we put churches into categories and get angry when they fail to fit that model? Hmm.....
peace out,
hersch
I was going about my janitorial duties the other day and a guy who I had been in a small group with last semester walked through the lobby I was cleaning. I looked up and said hello. He simply nodded almost as if I wasn't there and continued walking. Later that evening, in the cafeteria I saw him again. We were standing in line together. We briefly conversed and discussed the poor dining options on campus and then went to our seperate tables. Normally, I would have chalked this up to him being preoccupied that morning and not thought alot about it. But this isn't the first time it's happened with this certain individual. One time he even addressed me as I was cleaning as a new student who he hadn't met yet. You may be thinking that this guy is a douche, and believe me I have had those thoughts as well, if only it weren't that he isn't the only person this has happened with.
There are several guys in the dorm where I clean that do this. They see me in class or lunch or wherever and we will have a friendship, but if they see me with a mop, they barely speak to me. It happens the opposite way also. There are several guys who will see me cleaning and stop and chat for a bit, but if I see them in the cafeteria, we have nothing to say to each other.
What's even more alarming is that since noticing this phenomenon, I have begun to catch myself doing this as well. I have a group of people who I may talk with everyday at lunch but never at supper. I will talk to certain people in class but if I see them in the library, I don't know how to initiate conversation with them, as if my tongue turns to stone.
Compartmentalization means to divide something into categories. I see myself as well as everyone doing this with people. It is very strange to me that I have different categories of people in my life. There are two or three people with whom I trust everything I am to, and then there are those whom I will only eat lunch and make small talk with.
It is weird to know that I put people in categories. It is even more weird to know that I am categorized in other people's minds.
What does this mean in terms of of the Kingdog of God? Do I believe God puts people in categories? Do I gear ministry oppurtunities only to certain groups of people? Is part of the reason I haven't plugged into a church because I haven't found a church that fit into my preconcieved categories? Do we put churches into categories and get angry when they fail to fit that model? Hmm.....
peace out,
hersch
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
i hate everything(including you)
If you are alive, or used to be alive, chances are I probably hate you. Sorry.
If you have an idea, or have ever had an idea, chances are I'll probably hate it. Sorry.
If you have something you love that you want to share with me, in hopes that I'll love it also, chances are I'll probably hate it. Sorry.
It's not that I mean to hate you or whatever it is you want me to like; it's that I am so cynical that all that comes before me becomes the bain of my existence.
Ok, so perhaps I am blowing this way out of proportion, perhaps I don't actually hate you. However, my cynicism(if that is what it is) is really bothering me lately.
It has become a wall between myself and all those that I know. Friends share their favorite movies with me and I find myself wishing I was watching Regis Philbin reading the phone book instead. This feeling carries over all aspects of my life.
It's gotten to the point where I don't feel I can be honest with those around me because I fear they would not be my friends if I were honest about things. I feel like some elitist jerk who thinks eveything I love is the best and anything different might as well be used for toilet paper.
Where I feel the most stress with this issue is in the Church. It's like I have heard every sermon ever preached and nothing moves me. I have grown tired of every song and feel that if I am not satisfied with what the church is offering, then God must really be dissapointed. I have grown bitter with leaders and lay people alike, seeing nothing but apparent selfishness with any disregard for caring for not only our own, but also the needs of our communities at large.
Of course, I am seeing that these issues are not really with others, but with myself. I am the on who is cynical and negative all the time.
I am the one with the problems. I'm pretty sure I am the one who has filled my heart with negativity. Here's to hoping God will begin to empty it.
Am I the only one who is here right now?
peace out,
hersch
If you have an idea, or have ever had an idea, chances are I'll probably hate it. Sorry.
If you have something you love that you want to share with me, in hopes that I'll love it also, chances are I'll probably hate it. Sorry.
It's not that I mean to hate you or whatever it is you want me to like; it's that I am so cynical that all that comes before me becomes the bain of my existence.
Ok, so perhaps I am blowing this way out of proportion, perhaps I don't actually hate you. However, my cynicism(if that is what it is) is really bothering me lately.
It has become a wall between myself and all those that I know. Friends share their favorite movies with me and I find myself wishing I was watching Regis Philbin reading the phone book instead. This feeling carries over all aspects of my life.
It's gotten to the point where I don't feel I can be honest with those around me because I fear they would not be my friends if I were honest about things. I feel like some elitist jerk who thinks eveything I love is the best and anything different might as well be used for toilet paper.
Where I feel the most stress with this issue is in the Church. It's like I have heard every sermon ever preached and nothing moves me. I have grown tired of every song and feel that if I am not satisfied with what the church is offering, then God must really be dissapointed. I have grown bitter with leaders and lay people alike, seeing nothing but apparent selfishness with any disregard for caring for not only our own, but also the needs of our communities at large.
Of course, I am seeing that these issues are not really with others, but with myself. I am the on who is cynical and negative all the time.
I am the one with the problems. I'm pretty sure I am the one who has filled my heart with negativity. Here's to hoping God will begin to empty it.
Am I the only one who is here right now?
peace out,
hersch
Friday, February 02, 2007
did you hear something?
It's Friday night and I have just returned from perhaps the best concert I have ever been too.
Over.
The.
Rhine.
A group of us Asburians traveled into downtown Lexington to The Dame for what proved to be a great night.
Karin Bergquist's voice is far and away my favorite female voice. Only four songs into an hour and a half long set, she brought the house down. By the time they finished their first hour, I knew I was in the presence of a band who truly loves what they do. You could hear it in the music, see it on their faces, hear it in their banter.
To be honest I am not sure I have been to concert where the band seemed to enjoy what they did more than Over the Rhine. It was refreshing to see a band that wasn't all serious and yet able to bring you through so many emotions with their music. One moment the venue is silent as Karin sings "Drunkard's Prayer," to screaming with joy and abandon at a wicked jam session, closed by a great drum solo.
It was a good time. I needed it. I needed to see people enjoying their jobs--from the band to the road manager to the sound tech, everyone had fun. I hope to be in that position someday, where I truly enjoy what I do.
peace out,
hersch
EDIT: Here is a video of perhaps my favorite song from last night. Sorry to say this isn't from the show last night but this is about how close we were. Sorry for the poor audio quality as well.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
there are just some things that cannot be ignored...
There are few instances in each of our short lives where we witness something truly artistic and beautiful. How many times can have you looked at painting and been moved? Once? Twice? Have you ever left a museum feeling like a better person? Maybe a couple times in your life?
Perhaps there are those certain photographs that take you to another place.
Perhaps a story?
Or maybe a song? I remember the first time I heard "World's Apart" by Jars of Clay and how I put it on repeat for 2 hours. I sat there just listening to the words, memorizing both the words and the music, the beat, everything. I sat there and let the song wash over me. I never thought I would have another experience like that.
That is until now. Sometimes things are so incredible you cannot ignore them.
Then there is this.
I love the weiner dogs drinking at the river, and the weird aliens sprinkled throughout the video.
I don't know what is more offensive; this video's horribleness, or my subjecting you to it?
peace out,
hersch
PS-What's your favorite part?
Perhaps there are those certain photographs that take you to another place.
Perhaps a story?
Or maybe a song? I remember the first time I heard "World's Apart" by Jars of Clay and how I put it on repeat for 2 hours. I sat there just listening to the words, memorizing both the words and the music, the beat, everything. I sat there and let the song wash over me. I never thought I would have another experience like that.
That is until now. Sometimes things are so incredible you cannot ignore them.
Then there is this.
I love the weiner dogs drinking at the river, and the weird aliens sprinkled throughout the video.
I don't know what is more offensive; this video's horribleness, or my subjecting you to it?
peace out,
hersch
PS-What's your favorite part?
Thursday, January 25, 2007
confessions part 3
i'm not one to get offended by bad language in movies. usually what offends me is blasphemy and uncalled for sex scenes and violence.
so why was i shocked when i heard several f-bombs drop today around campus while i was cleaning? hmmmm.
----------------------------------
do you ever stop and look at yourself and think that perhaps your in a transitional time. i am there i think. first, i don't want to capitalize anymore. so i won't. sue me.
i have been through a lot of transitions this past year. starting school again, changing programs, finding a new church, meeting new people, etc. blah blah blah.
i am also transitioning with God(ok, still some capitalization). finally, i feel i am stepping beyond words into action, slowly though. and i am ok with that.
sometimes we want changes to be instanaeous, or they obviously weren't God's plan for our lives. that is bull.
we look for these quick fixes to everything and the biggest thing i have learned is quick fixes are nil. they offer fluff instead of real life change that comes with wrestling with God and raking our life with the Word, not the Word with our life. think about that.
and take a step of obedience, in faith. see what happens. quick fixes offer little truth and remaining stagnant is worse than dying.
it is in the transitions we find out what is real.
peace out,
hersch
so why was i shocked when i heard several f-bombs drop today around campus while i was cleaning? hmmmm.
----------------------------------
do you ever stop and look at yourself and think that perhaps your in a transitional time. i am there i think. first, i don't want to capitalize anymore. so i won't. sue me.
i have been through a lot of transitions this past year. starting school again, changing programs, finding a new church, meeting new people, etc. blah blah blah.
i am also transitioning with God(ok, still some capitalization). finally, i feel i am stepping beyond words into action, slowly though. and i am ok with that.
sometimes we want changes to be instanaeous, or they obviously weren't God's plan for our lives. that is bull.
we look for these quick fixes to everything and the biggest thing i have learned is quick fixes are nil. they offer fluff instead of real life change that comes with wrestling with God and raking our life with the Word, not the Word with our life. think about that.
and take a step of obedience, in faith. see what happens. quick fixes offer little truth and remaining stagnant is worse than dying.
it is in the transitions we find out what is real.
peace out,
hersch
Monday, January 22, 2007
and now the severe beating of a seminary janitor...
So I started my new job today. I am a janitor/custodian here at the seminary. My main responsibilities are to clean both men's dorms. It's a pretty cool job. I have a cool boss. I get to work on my own at my own pace. I get to listen to my iPod. I get paid. It's nice.
Sorry this blog has been lacking lately. J-term killed any serious thoughts I might have wanted to post, but now that that is over with, hopefully we can get some things rolling here again.
Well, I need a shower and then I am thinking about doing some reading. I need some help though.
I am bored with all my books and music. Does anyone have reccomendations for either and perhaps even a book or CD you can lend me so I don't have to go out and spend money. I am totally willing to lend out my own things. Just thought I would try to be anti-consumerish there. Anyways.
peace out,
hersch
Sunday, January 14, 2007
So I am sitting in my room, minding my own business when...
For those unfamiliar with the new MacBook computers, they have a built in camera and program that can be used to take such hilarious pictures as the ones you see.
Suffice it to say that in my boredom I will bring up this program and make funny faces and take pictures. For some reason, I cannot makke a funny face without making a funny noise to go along with it.
Today in my room I was doing making a funny face while making a strange Truman Capote-esque sound when my roommate walks in. For those of you who don't know, my roommate is from Singapore and though he can speak English fairly well, some things still get lost in translation. This is one of them. Instead of trying to explain myself, I simply acted as if nothing happened.
Am I embarrassed you ask? Yes. Yes I am.
peace out,
hersch
Monday, January 08, 2007
new music monday...
Ok ok, I know new music usually comes out on Tuesdays, and technically, this music isn't new--just new to me. Oh well. I wanted to share it with you because I have been so bored with music lately and was excited to find something new that I liked. I saw a video of this guy playing through To Write Love On Her Arms and was pretty blown away but then in the busyness of the semester forgot about him. Then last night, I remembered him and decided to look him up.
Dustin Kensrue. Good stuff.
You can check him out on myspace at www.myspace.com/dustinkensrue.
Here is a video of him playing my favorite song he does, Blanket of Ghosts.
Dustin Kensrue. Good stuff.
You can check him out on myspace at www.myspace.com/dustinkensrue.
Here is a video of him playing my favorite song he does, Blanket of Ghosts.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
bill haverchuck is my hero...
I am sitting in my class for Ethical and Legal Issues in Counseling and thought of no better place to write a new post. In the past month or so, I haven't really written anything on here worth a squat and I do apologize. I just haven't had anything worth saying. I'm not sure I do now.
I feel like I am having to relearn everything it means to follow Christ. I am ok with that. This past year I have been exposed to many things that have challenged my views of what it means to be a Christian. It's not so much that my faith has been challenged, but my way of pursuing my faith. Let me explain.
When I went to Guatemala, I saw poverty in a way I hadn't seen before and I saw a pastor who was willing to give up his high-paying, engineering job in the city and move into the moutains to live in a shack, for the simple person of helping the people of the mountains know the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am was faced straight up with the question in my heart- Would I be willing to give up the same for the Gospel?
Coming to seminary has shaken my foundations in my beliefs, namely, it has shown me that I don't know the Bible like I would like too, or should. God's Word is so deep and goes beyond what even we can read into it. How many things do we say are biblical but really aren't? How biblically true is my own life? What preconceptions do I read into the text in order to get out of it what I want, and not what it says. Ouch.
I am having alot of issues with our current way of doing church and worship in our culture. Why do we have such a had time living out Acts 2? Why is it so hard to want to take care of each other and the world as the Body of Christ? Why are we the first ones to jump in and shoot our own. Why am I so bitter towards the american church?
When I see things around the world like AIDS in Africa, or the poverty on the streets of Memphis, or other tragedies, I can't sing "Light the Fire" or "Indescribable," or any other praise and worship song. They aren't honest for me. I feel fake singing them. And its not that I find the words untrue, but they don't express to God what I am feeling. Now there are times when I do get into these settings and the Holy Spirit takes over. Praise God for that. I guess what makes this so hard is the fact that I don't know how to express what I am feeling to God, or how to worship per se'. I want to worship in Spirit and truth. Not knowing how to do that consistently is making me reexamine how I build my relationship with God.
And lastly, am I in a belief system that embraces the freedom of Christ or the condemnation of hell. Do I rely on do's and don'ts to justify my religous experience or am I embracing freedom in my forgiveness and allowing that freedom to transform me into a free, joyful person whom others would see and want that same freedom and joy?
This is a new year. I feel the best way to continue along this path of relearning what it means to follow Jesus is to actually study the life of Jesus. So that's my goal for this year--to delve deep into the scriptures concerning Jesus, the prophecies, the life, the words, the aftermath--in the world, and in my life.
peace out,
hersch
I feel like I am having to relearn everything it means to follow Christ. I am ok with that. This past year I have been exposed to many things that have challenged my views of what it means to be a Christian. It's not so much that my faith has been challenged, but my way of pursuing my faith. Let me explain.
When I went to Guatemala, I saw poverty in a way I hadn't seen before and I saw a pastor who was willing to give up his high-paying, engineering job in the city and move into the moutains to live in a shack, for the simple person of helping the people of the mountains know the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I am was faced straight up with the question in my heart- Would I be willing to give up the same for the Gospel?
Coming to seminary has shaken my foundations in my beliefs, namely, it has shown me that I don't know the Bible like I would like too, or should. God's Word is so deep and goes beyond what even we can read into it. How many things do we say are biblical but really aren't? How biblically true is my own life? What preconceptions do I read into the text in order to get out of it what I want, and not what it says. Ouch.
I am having alot of issues with our current way of doing church and worship in our culture. Why do we have such a had time living out Acts 2? Why is it so hard to want to take care of each other and the world as the Body of Christ? Why are we the first ones to jump in and shoot our own. Why am I so bitter towards the american church?
When I see things around the world like AIDS in Africa, or the poverty on the streets of Memphis, or other tragedies, I can't sing "Light the Fire" or "Indescribable," or any other praise and worship song. They aren't honest for me. I feel fake singing them. And its not that I find the words untrue, but they don't express to God what I am feeling. Now there are times when I do get into these settings and the Holy Spirit takes over. Praise God for that. I guess what makes this so hard is the fact that I don't know how to express what I am feeling to God, or how to worship per se'. I want to worship in Spirit and truth. Not knowing how to do that consistently is making me reexamine how I build my relationship with God.
And lastly, am I in a belief system that embraces the freedom of Christ or the condemnation of hell. Do I rely on do's and don'ts to justify my religous experience or am I embracing freedom in my forgiveness and allowing that freedom to transform me into a free, joyful person whom others would see and want that same freedom and joy?
This is a new year. I feel the best way to continue along this path of relearning what it means to follow Jesus is to actually study the life of Jesus. So that's my goal for this year--to delve deep into the scriptures concerning Jesus, the prophecies, the life, the words, the aftermath--in the world, and in my life.
peace out,
hersch
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